It’s 14:00! Dads hastily retune radios to Radio 2 JEREMY Vine show successfully avoided for another day.

Steve Wright National Treasure
National Treasure ends Dads’ daily exile to Radio One

TWO hour daily exile to Radio 1 ends.

Dudley Petard, Entertainment Consultant, said: “It’s easy to understand why many Dads avoid the ‘Jeremy Vine show’.”

“It’s basically a ghastly vocalised version of ‘The Daily Mail’.”

Bernard Weasel said, ‘We always listen to Radio 2 in the Council offices. It’s uncontroversial background noise soothing 40 tedious years away until our gold-plated pensions.”

“Most of us get in late enough to successfully avoid Chris Evans.”

“We have all built up a strong tolerance to Ken Bruce – even though ‘Pop Master’ is incredibly easy if you have a laptop open in front of you. I can normally come up with ’10 in 10′ – rather than ‘3 in 10’ – thanks to Google.”

“At midday, we all have an argument as to which channel we should listen to, while avoiding Jeremy Vine. His show seems purposely designed to give us all lunchtime indigestion.”

“Radio 1 isn’t too bad for short periods even though the DJs get stupidly excited about some fairly ropy ‘Live Lounge’ performances. It’s reassuring that current Radio 1 DJs love bad puns and double entendres. They seem to act Radio 2 even before they are rehomed to that channel.”

“One day, someone tuned the radio to ‘6Music’, which is great if you want a 2-hour siesta. It seemed to broadcast content too tedious for even Radio 2.”

“It’s such a relief when we can retune back to Radio 2 at 14:00 apart from when Steve Wright is on holiday and there’s someone like Patrick Kielty standing in for him.”

“From bitter experience, we just stick to Radio 1 on ‘Wright-less’ days.”

“Of course, Steve’s ‘Big Show’ can be intensely irritating in parts. I don’t think ‘factoid’ is actually a word. He insists on saying the word ‘skellington’ and pronounces ‘tour’ in a weird way.”

“I am not sure we actually need patchy traffic news when we all have sat navs.”

“Do Janey Lee Grace and Tim Smith actually have proper jobs?”

“Some of the ‘Non-Stop Oldies’ are absolute s**t but that’s not entirely Steve Wright’s fault.”

“It’s what can happen when you ask the public to choose something.”

“What exactly is the definition of ‘non-stop’? Does constantly interrupting something with dedications, news, adverts, jingles, general chit-chat and traffic bulletins actually count as non-stop?”

“Peace, we out!”

 

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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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