About

Comedy News and satirical views to entertain the nation because if we don’t laugh we might as well curl up and die!

Nothing is true – it’s all the made-up opinions of fantasy characters living in and around the fictitious village of Much Craplock!

Most of these stories, in the unqualified opinion of ‘The Editor’, are rated suitable for ages 15 and upwards – which basically seems to mean, these days, anything goes!

However, as we might occasionally mention alcohol and Gary Glitter and readers may be impressionable and unsure how to interpret satire, we advise that you should not read it unless you are over 18.

Please log off and do not read any blogs if you are under 18.

Please skip any blogs that may personally upset you. This blog is satirical comedy and is not personal. There will always be another topic coming up soon and we apologise if we occasionally upset or offend you.

There may be: mild jeopardy; satirical discriminatory language and behaviour; dangerous comical, imitable behaviour – which no-one should try at home;  moderate language; moderate sex references; moderate physical, psychological, threat, and horror sequences; slapstick violence and a plethora of double entendres.

There won’t be any nudity unless Gavin Rowlocks, Much Craplock’s resident fruitcake, guesses ‘The Editor’s’ password.

Photographs are either by Daily Squabble photographers or are Creative Commons photographs as indicated used under the relevant licence.

Banner photo is by Picjumbo (Victor Hanecek).

The use of any photograph in no way indicates that the photographer endorses The Daily Squabble, this website or The Daily Squabble’s use of the photograph.

Terms and Conditions

PLEASE READ THIS AGREEMENT THOROUGHLY. IT SETS OUT THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS UNDER WHICH ‘THE DAILY SQUABBLE’ OFFERS YOU USE OF ITS WEBSITES. BY USING THE SERVICES ON THE SITES YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE READ AND ACCEPT THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS AND THAT THEY SHALL APPLY TO YOUR USE. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE BOUND BY THEM, PLEASE LEAVE thedailysquabble.com and thedailysquabble.co.uk WEBSITES.

This Agreement is made between you and the site owner.

thedailysquabble.com and thedailysquabble.co.uk are satirical news sites – this means that all the stories are solely for comical entertainment and are not true. The stories are all fantasy, fictitious, fake news and have never happened.  The site owner accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information – it is all made up and is not accurate.

We carry out Google searches to confirm our fictional stories do not match reality.

When using thedailysquabble.com and / or thedailysquabble.co.uk you agree:

to be entirely responsible for and keep confidential any password used by you. You should change your password if you believe someone has gained access to it;

not to do anything which will or might possible damage, interfere with, disrupt access to, interrupt or impair the functionality of the content displayed on the site;

not to post, distribute, promote, or otherwise upload any defamatory, offensive, infringing, discriminatory, obscene, indecent or otherwise unlawful or objectionable material or information or send any chain letters, junk mail, ‘spamming’ material or any other form of bulk communication;

not to threaten, harass, stalk, abuse, disrupt or otherwise violate the rights of others, including individuals’ privacy rights; not to make any unauthorised, false or fraudulent orders, bookings or request for services, or promote your own company / blog;

not to obtain or attempt to obtain unauthorised access to the sites or any private or member account areas on the sites;

not do, cause or permit anything to be done that may infringe, damage or interfere with any intellectual property rights of The Daily Squabble or any of our associated companies or third parties. Also, not to do anything that is otherwise unlawful or which may cause any liability for us.

If you send us or post any material or other information to thedailysquabble.com or thedailysquabble.co.uk you agree that the Editor will not treat this information as confidential and will be free to keep and republish this information and reuse it as he / she sees fit. You agree to give up your copyright and any other rights to be identified as the author of this information and to object to any use of this information by us

Our promise to you

Nothing in these terms and conditions affects your legal rights as a consumer.

It’s important to note that using the Internet does have its dangers. Our hosting provider: WordPress.com will take reasonable steps to ensure a fast and reliable service, but we can’t be held responsible for:

the security of thedailysquabble.com and thedailysquabble.co.uk

for any damage, loss of, or corruption of any data, information or material or viruses that may infect your computer equipment or other property

breach of security by hackers as a result of your use of thedailysquabble.com and /or thedailysquabble.co.uk

Please ensure that your browsers and internet security software are updated to the latest versions.

We are not responsible for any injury, loss, claim, damage, or any indirect, incidental or consequential damages of any kind (including but not limited to lost profits, lost savings or revenue, or loss or corruption of data or information) which arises out of or is in any way connected with your use of or failure to use thedailysquabble.com and /or thedailysquabble.co.uk. This includes any information, products or services obtained through or any contract entered into via thedailysquabble.com and /or thedailysquabble.co.uk

From time to time we may need to update the content on thedailysquabble.com and /or thedailysquabble.co.uk and/or WordPress may maintain the software and other equipment that runs the site. During these times you may not be able to access the sites or things may be a bit slower than normal. If this happens, please try us again later.

Got a complaint? Here are your legal rights

Your use of thedailysquabble.com and /or thedailysquabble.co.uk and these terms and conditions, is subject to the laws of England and Wales and we reserve the right to bring proceedings to the Courts of the country of your location.

If you are at all unhappy with any aspect of the thedailysquabble.com site and /or thedailysquabble.co.uk then please contact ‘editor@thedailysquabble.co.uk’. If you have any complaints about the products or services that you receive from using the site, then please contact them! If you want to contact us about anything then please visit the ‘Contact’ section.

Links to other sites

The editor of The Daily Squabble is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.co.uk and amazon.com.

We may provide links to other websites, resources, advertisements or sponsorships.

We hope that you find any links that we post useful. Please ignore any that will not bring you added value.

We will post reviews and links to amazon products that we recommend for you. Any purchase via these affiliate links will help us to pay our web hosting costs. We appreciate your continued support.

If you decide to access other sites, then you will be leaving thedailysquabble.com – that means that we won’t be responsible or liable for any content, advertising or products or services available from such sites or, for any dealings that you may have, or the consequences of such dealings, with the operators of those sites. Should a dispute arise between you and any third party, we’ll do our best to help you resolve it, but we can’t be responsible for any loss or damage.

Intellectual Property Rights

The Daily Squabble name, content and logo may not be used without the editor’s written permission.

This also applies to all copyright, trademark rights, database rights, patent rights and any other intellectual property rights in text, graphics, audio, video or image files, content, software, data and information displayed on, or available from thedailysquabble.com.or thedailysquabble.co.uk. This includes the organisation and layout of the sites and the underlying software that’s owned by us or our licensers and suppliers.

You agree that all these materials are available for your personal use only, and you may not copy, modify, alter, publish, broadcast, distribute, sell or transfer any such materials without our written permission.

Changes to these terms and conditions

All terms and conditions may be changed, updated and/or modified by us on a regular basis. You will need to agree with any updates. Please check back here to stay up to date.

If you keep visiting thedailysquabble.com and /or thedailysquabble.co.uk then we consider that you have agreed to all new terms and conditions.

Thank you for joining our international community of Squabblers.

Last updated: April 3rd 2017

Privacy Policy

thedailysquabble.com and the dailysquabble.co.uk collects information online, which we could use to develop and enhance the services we offer to you. This involves the use of cookies as used by many other commercial websites.

All data collected in anonymous and quite frankly we would rather spend time writing amusing stories than even look at it.

If you do not know what cookies are, or how to control or delete them, then we recommend you read on or visit www.aboutcookies.org or www.youronlinechoices.com. Deleting cookies may impair the functionality of this site and your enjoyment of it.

We take privacy issues seriously and are open about the way data is collected and used. Please read this policy which outlines the principles we follow.

 We are committed to:
– protecting the personal information you give us
– telling you how we use the information we gather from you
– getting your consent to our disclosure of your personal information

This is the Privacy Policy you agree to by using thedailysquabble.com and thedailysquabble.co.uk

We are committed to protecting your privacy.
We collect the minimum amount of information about you that is commensurate with providing you with a satisfactory service. This Policy indicates the type of processes that may result in data being collected about you. Your use of this website gives us the right to collect that information.

Information Collected
We may collect any or all of the information that you give us depending on the type of transaction you enter into, including your name, address, telephone number, and email address, together with data about your use of the website. Other information that may be needed from time to time to process a request may also be collected as indicated on the website.

Information Use
We use the information collected primarily to help us improve our site to make it enjoyable for you to visit. Data collected in the UK is held in accordance with the Data Protection Act. All reasonable precautions are taken to prevent unauthorised access to this information. This safeguard may require you to provide additional forms of identity should you wish to obtain information about your account details.

Automatic Information / Cookies: We receive and store certain types of information whenever you interact with us. For example, like many Web sites, we use “cookies,” and we obtain certain types of information when your Web browser accesses thedailysquabble.com and the dailysquabble.co.uk   Your Internet browser has the in-built facility for storing small files- “cookies” – that hold information which allows a website to recognise your account. Our website takes advantage of this facility to enhance your experience. You have the ability to prevent your computer from accepting cookies but, if you do, certain functionality on the website may be impaired.

Your consent
Currently we use the following cookies and we operate an ‘implied consent’ policy which means that we assume you are happy with this usage.

Google Analytics – we use this to understand how the site is being used in order to improve the user experience. User data is all anonymous. You can find out more about Google’s position on privacy as regards its analytics service at http://www.google.co.uk/intl/en/analytics/privacyoverview . Through the use of cookies, anonymous information about your use of our websites and other websites will be used to provide more relevant adverts about goods and services of interest to you. For more information on online behavioural advertising and about how to turn this feature off, please visit http://www.youronlinechoices.com/uk

Disclosing Information
We do not disclose any personal information obtained about you from this website to third parties unless you permit us to do so by ticking the relevant boxes in registration or competition forms. We may also use the information to keep in contact with you and inform you of developments associated with us. You will be given the opportunity to remove yourself from any mailing list or similar device. If at any time in the future we should wish to disclose information collected on this website to any third party, it would only be with your knowledge and consent.

We may from time to time provide information of a general nature to third parties – for example, the number of individuals visiting our website or completing a registration form, but we will not use any information that could identify those individuals.

Contacting Us
If you have any questions about our Privacy Policy, or if you want to know what information we have collected about you, please email us at editor@thedailysquabble.co.uk  You can also correct any factual errors in that information or require us to remove your details form any list under our control.

Last updated: February 1st 2017

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