REALITY more than counterbalances ‘The Crown’ gender pay-gap scandal.
Following the revelation that relative unknown Claire Foy was paid less than ex-Doctor Who, Matt Smith, for their roles in ‘The Crown’, the Queen has reassured that nation that no such nonsense exists in reality.
“No-one gets paid more than the Queen,” said her Majesty.
“And all those millions soon add up as I am notoriously frugal.”
“I never buy gadgets. Still have an iPod Classic – and that was foisted upon me.”
“I don’t have a plasma tv, nutribullet or a Fitbit.”
“No Apple Watch for me. I don’t even like real apples – might pull my teeth out.”
“It makes perfect sense that I receive billions more in investment income than the Duke of Edinburgh.”
“What on earth would he spend it on?”
“Personally, as Queen, I should own vast tracts of open moorland that I can rent out to peasants.”
“The Duke only needs a pocket-full of Werther’s Originals, a new top hat and the odd spare wheel for a carriage.”
“Your money is safe in my hands.”
“Get orfe my land!”
White House photo by Eric Draper [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons