Adele at the Grammys: Breaks fifth pie in half to share with Beyoncé: 'What the f**k does she need to do to be given a pie?'

Adele shares with Beyoncé after moving the ‘Lemonade’ singer to tears during pastry-themed speech

(By Entertainment consultant, Dudley Petard).

There was not a dry mouth in the house, at the Grammys Ceremony in Los Angeles, when Adele was stunned to be presented with her fifth and most coveted meat pie.

She was not as grateful as had been anticipated.

“This pie is so monumental, so well thought-out, so soul-baring and beautiful.” said Adele. “I f**king adore it!”

“However, I can’t possibly accept it. Not when the artist of my life, Beyoncé, looks so starving. Being a mum is just so hard and she’s eating for three!”

It was alleged that Adele damaged her choice pie deliberately in order to share it with her idol.

If she did, she could have said: “Get your chops around this, missus. You can eat it with some p**sing lemonade!”

 

(Ed: “Dudley, did this really happen?”

Dudley Petard: “I am not sure, I couldn’t be bothered to go. It was five thousand miles away, in Los Angeles. I am not going to haul my cookies all the way there to see the same person win five awards and a cocked-up performance of ‘Fastlove’.)

 

Nutrition Consultant, Anna Phylaxis, said: “As a gluten-free-Paleo-vegan I really wouldn’t recommend eating meat pie with lemonade. It would make my stomach blow up like a balloon.”

“With a diet like that maybe Beyoncé isn’t really pregnant. Maybe it’s wind!”

Dudley Petard said: “Several awards were also given out. Adele won quite a few – I can’t remember which; I dozed off while watching online.  In her acceptance speeches, I imagine she would have said something like: ‘Gordon Bennett. Who would Adam and Eve it? F**k me!'”

A member of Beyoncé’s entourage said: “I am not sure that Ms Knowles-Carter would appreciate the gift of half a mauled pie. She was expecting to come away with the Grammy for Album of the Year”.

 

https://twitter.com/DailySquabble

https://www.facebook.com/thedailysquabble/

Adele photograph by By marcen27 from Glasgow, UK (Adele 1) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Pie photograph by Alpha [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Both modified by ‘The Daily Squabble’.

 

 

Advertisements

About The Daily Squabble

Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

View all posts by The Daily Squabble →