Boris Johnson outed as wizard during Theresa May’s disastrous speech! Inanimate object instantly obeys him.

Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson revealed as master of the dark arts at Tory Party Conference.

“It was amazing,” said Peregrine Snook, Senior Tory, who was attending the Tory Party Conference in Manchester.

“Theresa May’s speech was a complete and utter shambles.”

“She wanted to come out with all the usual bribes about building houses for poor people and not shafting the students – any more than previous.”

“We were looking forward to her promise to harvest everyone’s organs without asking – completely aligned with traditional Tory values.”

“We were sadly disappointed.”

“First of all, she lost her voice and started croaking.”

“I thought this was just an unfortunate medical condition but I could see – out of the corner of my eye – Boris Johnson.”

“He appeared to be making a throat-wringing gesture with his hands.”

“When he stopped moving his hands, the Prime Minister’s voice instantly recovered.”

“Then I could see Boris starting to mutter under his breath.”

“I am sure he was chanting ‘F-off’ while he waved a rolled-up copy of the Tory manifesto as a make-shift wand.”

“At this stage, a letter flew off the board behind poor Theresa.”

“I must say that I was impressed!”

“Boris Johnson has got a lot more to him than just saying crass and insensitive things about Libya!”

A friend of the Foreign Secretary said: “These allegations are utter poppycock.”

“If Boris had chosen to reveal his powers at this stage, he would have made the second ‘U’ jump off the board!”

 

Photographs:
Boris Johnson: https://www.flickr.com/photos/chathamhouse/30562517863
Wizard Hat: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e0/WikiWitch_Black.png
Theresa May: By Andrew Burdett (Transferred from en.wikipedia to Commons.)
[CC BY 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
All modified by ‘The Daily Squabble’

 

 

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