British holidaymakers traumatized by pips in Greek orange juice 'Anyone would think it had been made out of some kind of fruit!"

Just have to sieve it through your teeth!

UNWARY BRITISH teenager nearly chokes to death during Greek breakfast.

Tiffany Gubbins, Stacey Gubbins’ teenage daughter, has registered a formal complaint with Greek Trading Standards alleging that her breakfast orange juice had been contaminated by foreign objects back in the factory.

“It was full of jagged pips,” she complained.

“There was also some kind of disgusting clogging pulp floating on the surface.”

“I knew it couldn’t be trusted – just by the colour. It was actually deep orange. What kind of evil chemical have they added to make it look like that?”

“Why can’t we get some nice homogenised, pasteurised straw-yellow stuff like at home?”

Tiffany’s father, Darren Gubbins, said: “I rather liked it.”

“You just have to sieve it through pursed lips and then your teeth to remove the pips – as if you were a baleen whale.”

“Good luck getting me down to hospital from this mountain village while I am choking to death,” said Tiffany.

“The terrifying descent takes 20 minutes in our Toyota Auris hire car.”

“It would be quicker – and safer – to strap me to a passing wild goat or mouflon and drive it off a cliff.”

Darren Gubbins said: “I am going to buy that orange juice with “extra bits” when I get home to repulse less intrepid souls. Will save a fortune.”

“Anyone fancy an olive? Watch out for the stones.”


Photo by ‘The Daily Squabble’

About The Daily Squabble

Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

View all posts by The Daily Squabble →