Budget will Protect Thick Shoppers ! Chancellor, Philip Hammond, to ban confusing small print!

Budget Credit cards
Should you really be out by yourself ?

Government to crackdown on confusing small print in budget.

Philip Hammond will announce plans to eliminate confusing ‘terms and conditions’ and ban companies from taking customers’ credit cards for ‘free-trials.’

A Treasury spokesperson said: “This legislation is long overdue.”

“The Government would never con people to sign up to things without clearly listing all the relevant terms and conditions.”

“Unlike these scamming retailers, we would never hold people to account if they happened to tick a single badly-explained box on a form.”

“Everyone should be given an official cooling-off period and a chance to change their minds once they realise they have made a terrible mistake.”

“Look at how many morbidly obese people are signed up to unused gym subscriptions and are too stupid to cancel them. That’s not fair – they could be using that money to pay increased customs tariffs instead!”

Local resident, Gavin Rowlocks, said, “I don’t think there is an issue unless a consumer is a total moron.”

“Direct debit means Direct debit!”


Photograph by Maxpayne473 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

About The Daily Squabble

Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

View all posts by The Daily Squabble →