Carillion Crisis: Government reveals plans for affordable HS2

DETAILED 1:1 Scale model released

The Department for Transport has rushed to quell fears that the flagship HS2 rail-link will never be constructed by releasing a preview of the new ‘affordable’ model.

Mandy Toxic-Fig from the Disunite Union welcomed the news.

“It’s such a relief that the government has stepped in to rescue this vital transport link – particularly as it’s going to be transferred back into the public sector in the not to distant future.”

“We are disappointed that the model is actually a full-size representation and you can’t get the full impression of the HS2 project without seeing glittering streets paved with gold at one end and some grim post-apocalyptic northern landscape at the other.”

“We are also disappointed that it is going to be single track – so when the Northern train inevitably meets the one from the South, they are always going to have to reverse back to where they came from.”

“On reflection – that’s probably the best all round.”

 

Photo by ‘The Daily Squabble’

 

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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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