MAGICAL and heartwarming story of little boy and aged dictator.
Snooty department store Waitshrub has revealed it’s long-awaited Christmas advert.
Charlotte Huffy, Waitshrub’s Customer Director, said: “This year’s Christmas campaign brings to life the joy of great friendships.”
“Robert Mugabe may have cooked his goose – as far as Zimbabwe is concerned – but that doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy the festive season.”
“Now he’s unemployed, he is probably careful with his money having experienced inflation rates of up to 231 million percent.”
“That doesn’t mean he can’t afford something from our increasingly popular deposed-dictator-department, although we are stocking it up with eye-wateringly-expensive trousers ready for Theresa May.”
The advert follows the story of Django, a seven-year-old boy, who is struggling to sleep because of a tyrant underneath his bed.
Every night, the annoyingly precocious Django has to stop Mr Mugabe from seizing control of his family’s vegetable patch.
In the final touching scene, they exchange gifts at midnight on Christmas Eve.
Django gives Robert Mugabe a Nobel Peace Prize and, in return, receives a $100 trillion Zimbabwe-dollar bill.
Miss Huffy said: “I am sure these gestures of goodwill will be loved by all our customers, young and old.”
Mr Mugabe said: “I am sure I can fit my wife under here too.”
Django said: “This money is only worth 20p. Useless f**ker!”
“I am sure that nice and cuddly ‘Mr Crocodile’ will be much better.”
Photo of Mugabe
By U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Jesse B. Awalt/Released (DefenseImagery.mil, VIRIN 090202-N-0506A-417) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Photo of bed
By Albinfo (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Both modified by ‘The Daily Squabble’