Council finally deigns to collect some rubbish !

wheelie-bins

COUNCIL has amazed local residents by actually turning up to collect some refuse.

Bernard Weasel, Environmental Officer for Anyold Council, said, “You might think that you are due regular rubbish collections if you pay our extortionate council tax demands – well think again ! Particularly over Christmas.

“Since bin-men were rechristened ‘Recycling Technicians’ with a shared sacred mission to save the planet they’ve got a lot more expensive and need frequent rests.

“It’s a thankless task. The only joy they get is from throwing a new roll of compostable bags into the fetid bin juice at the bottom of your food waste bin.

“Anyway, it’s not as if families are likely to have any rubbish to throw away at Christmas.

“If you haven’t got anything better to do, you will be given a warm welcome at any of our recycling centres particularly if you have any salvageable goods we can resell privately at car-boot sales ! Good luck with finding out the bizarre and restricted opening times. Everyone who visits will likely receive a free festive nail through a tyre and Weil’s disease.”

Photograph by:
Ardfern (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], via Wikimedia Commons

 

 

 

 

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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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