Dad declares himself cursed as ‘all the acts he wanted to see’ die

ANOTHER legend scrubbed off the bucket list.

Gavin Rowlocks, father of three, has declared himself the unluckiest fan in history as yet another act, he was allegedly intending to see, snuffs it.

“Ken Dodd this time,” lamented Mr Rowlocks. “For ten years I have saying that I must book tickets for his annual visit to Llandudno.”

“None of my family would deign to come with me – bastards. They said their bladders weren’t strong enough.”

“Missed my chance now. He was a living legend.”

“Doddie wasn’t the only one.”

“I almost booked to see Michael Jackson on his ‘This is it’ tour before it became ‘That’s your lot’.”

“I also fully intended to see Prince, David Bowie and George Michael.”

“My patronage is a curse.”

Mr Rowlock’s teenage daughter, Britney, said, “I am sure he is exaggerating.”

“When it comes to Ken Dodd, if you put off seeing an eighty-year old for 10 years what do you really think is going to happen?”

“Dad successfully went to see Dr. John Cooper-Clarke last night who, despite appearances, isn’t quite dead yet.”

“If it is a curse for him to want tickets for a show he should prove it once and for all.”

“Ed Sheeran is planning a massive world tour.”


Photo by:

About The Daily Squabble

Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

View all posts by The Daily Squabble →