Democracy doesn’t work! Public would rather be governed by 'Benevolent Alien Dictator'.

Benevolent Alien leader
Immigrants rule!

RECENT votes – both here and abroad – have categorically demonstrated that democracy doesn’t work!

“It’s time to shelve democracy,” said Gavin Rowlocks, local fruitcake. “A free vote always results in an undesirable outcome.”

“Earthlings seem to be unwisely using elections and referendums as some form of ironic protest.”

“Look at the mess we have created. It is time to send satellites into space beaming out a polite request for sensible leadership – as we seem incapable of providing it for ourselves.”

“We should try to attract a benevolent carbon based life-form to take charge. I am hoping for E.T. rather than Predator.”

“E.T. would appeal to a new generation of young voters – as he is also obsessed with phones.”

“Quite a few aliens might be interested in this gig as it’s so easy. All you have to do is say ‘No’ in response to people’s barking mad suggestions.”

“Shall we leave the single market? No!”

“Should we spend £40 billion on new nuclear missiles? No!”

“Can we cheat pensioners by not increasing pensions with RPI? No, and no again!”

“I think you can deal with most pressing topics in less than ten minutes a day. This would give our alien rulers plenty of spare time to colonise other worlds”.

“Thinking about it, E.T. might be a little too wet to govern effectively. Wasn’t he a botanist? He’s probably in the Green Party.”

“We want an alien ruler from a planet in the ‘Goldilocks zone’ – not too hard and not too soft.”

“When I said ‘benevolent’ carbon-based life-form, I don’t actually mind them vaporising the Palace of Westminster to announce their arrival – a bit like ‘Independence Day’ – but maybe they could do this at the weekend, to minimise casualties, and then build some nice social-housing on ground zero.”

 

 

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Photograph from Pixabay.
Public Domain under https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/deed.en

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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