Do Gremlins know clocks have gone back? Owners paranoid about ‘feeding after midnight’

Gremlins

EXOTIC pet owners worry about gremlins adapting to Greenwich Mean Time.

Barry Brith, a gremlin owner living on Anglesey, is highly concerned about his pet’s feeding schedule this evening.

“If my gremlin, Trump, demands a chicken leg at 11:00pm will I be safe to feed him?” asked Barry.

“Will his internal body-clock have reset to GMT, or will he still think it’s after midnight resulting in an apocalyptic attack on Anglesey?””

“I don’t get this ‘after midnight’ thing; it’s like those chocolates ‘After Eights’ – it’s always after Eight / Midnight somewhere.”

“A Mogwai should come with an illustrated manual – and some public liability insurance.”

“I phoned the Pets at Home helpline to ask, but they just put the phone down.”

“I wish I had bought a collie.”

Trump, Barry’s malicious Mogwai, said: “We actually run on Chinese time and that’s eight hours ahead.”

“If any hapless owner gives me food after 4.00pm GMT, he’s basically f*cked.”

“As it’s always pouring with rain up here on Anglesey, my razor-toothed offspring and I are fully enabled to lay waste to the town of Holyhead.”

“The only thing holding us back is that we haven’t yet worked out how to make a noticeable difference.”

 

Photograph by:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/GremlinStripeByInti.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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