EXOTIC pet owners worry about gremlins adapting to Greenwich Mean Time.
Barry Brith, a gremlin owner living on Anglesey, is highly concerned about his pet’s feeding schedule this evening.
“If my gremlin, Trump, demands a chicken leg at 11:00pm will I be safe to feed him?” asked Barry.
“Will his internal body-clock have reset to GMT, or will he still think it’s after midnight resulting in an apocalyptic attack on Anglesey?””
“I don’t get this ‘after midnight’ thing; it’s like those chocolates ‘After Eights’ – it’s always after Eight / Midnight somewhere.”
“A Mogwai should come with an illustrated manual – and some public liability insurance.”
“I phoned the Pets at Home helpline to ask, but they just put the phone down.”
“I wish I had bought a collie.”
Trump, Barry’s malicious Mogwai, said: “We actually run on Chinese time and that’s eight hours ahead.”
“If any hapless owner gives me food after 4.00pm GMT, he’s basically f*cked.”
“As it’s always pouring with rain up here on Anglesey, my razor-toothed offspring and I are fully enabled to lay waste to the town of Holyhead.”
“The only thing holding us back is that we haven’t yet worked out how to make a noticeable difference.”