Doctor Who’s new tardis entirely fuelled by burning copies of ‘The Guardian’

TIMELORD’S PC craft seeks out social justice issues throughout the galaxy.

Countless geeks have long debated about the power source for the tardis.

Common theories have been that the Doctor’s time machine is powered by energy transfer from a black hole or by the mysterious ‘Eye of Harmony’.

The Daily Squabble can now reveal its far more mundane power source.

Dudley Petard, media correspondent, explained: “Once Jodie Whittaker’s character has digested a daily edition of ‘The Guardian’, she merely tosses it into a central reactor.”

“Left-wing bile is a remarkably powerful energy source and provides all the energy needed to propel the Doctor to another tiresome ordeal of political correctness.”

“From a primary school lecture on Rosa Parks to a preaching tale about the Partition of India, a ‘Guardian’ fuelled tardis seeks out social justice issues throughout the universe.”

“Actually,” said Mr Petard, “the current Doctor Who incarnation could be considered ‘post-pc.'”

“Having a non-disabled, white, middle-aged man as an assistant is ground-breaking.”

“In a future episode, the Doctor will fight for the rights of other minorities.”

“She will wage inter-galactic war on behalf of heterosexual daleks who are demanding civil partnerships, rather than marriage, in protest at the patriarchy of Davros.”



Photograph of tardis:  By Steve Collis from Melbourne, Australia (Doctor Who Experience) [CC BY 2.0  (], via Wikimedia Commons

The Guardian By Asvensson [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

Both modified by ‘The Daily Squabble’





About The Daily Squabble

Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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