Ed Sheeran Can’t Name His Next Album! Local Band Copyrights all Remaining Maths Symbols

Ed Sheeran album names
When in doubt go for ‘π’

SUPERSTAR scratching his tousled head – wishing he had attended more maths lessons.

Young farmer, Sid Slurry from local band Sheep Shearin’, proudly announced the release of 100 mini-albums that all have different mathematical terms as their titles.

“It was easy for us to knock out an album called ‘Minus'”, said Mr Slurry.

“That was the obvious next step for Ed after the international success of ‘Multiply’, ‘Plus’ and ‘Divide’.”

“We then started to panic that Sheeran wouldn’t fall into our cunning trap and employ a different mathematical symbol.”

“We thought he would most likely plump for ‘Pi’ (π) only to find he had lost a lot of weight on his sabbatical.”

“After finishing off ‘Pi’, we quickly churned out mini-albums entitled ‘Equals’, ‘Cubed’ and ‘Square’.”

“Checking our scientific calculators, we also produced ‘%’, ‘Root’, ‘Log’, ‘Mode’, ‘Clear’, ‘Abs’, ‘Ran’, ‘Delete’ and ‘Hyp’.”

“Our bass player then left us – due to musical differences – ran off to Ibiza and independently produced the techno-rave albums ‘Sin’, ‘Cos’ and ‘Tan’.”

“We’re not saying that Ed can’t also name his next album ‘Minus’. It’s just that we are hoping drunken internet shoppers will buy our album by mistake!”

 

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Photograph by By Eva Rinaldi from Sydney, Australia (Ed Sheeran  Uploaded by tm) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

 

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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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