Ed Sheeran Refuses to pay Leprechauns!

Ed Sheeran with Leprechaun
Little Green Folk plotting their revenge!

IRISH pixies provided backing track to ‘Galway Girl’ album track.

“Sheeran’s so tight!” alleged Fergal O’Brogal, Chief Leprechaun.

“He promised to top up our pots of gold if we helped him produce an album that outsold Adele.”

“He is obsessed with beating that woman!”

“We told him that we hadn’t done a stereotypical ‘didly-doidly-diddly-do’ track for fifty years but he still commissioned one for the end of ‘Galway Girl’.”

“These days leprechauns are far more likely to coordinate innovative – and infuriating – marketing strategies. We were responsible for foisting that spam U2 album on an unenthusiastic iTunes audience.”

“We asked him if he would like us to shout ‘Top of the Mornin’, ‘How’s the craic?’, ‘To be sure, to be sure’ and other Irish phrases to ‘enhance the track’ but he worked out we were really taking the mickey at this point.”

“We are yet to see any gold in return for our work on ‘Galway Girl’, even though Sheeran’s album has stormed the charts.”

“We are going to teach him not to double-cross demonic imps”.

“Sheeran is running out of material for his albums. He resorted to whining about his lack of a uni degree in two of ‘Divide’s’ tracks and we are all bored with hearing about his drinking.”

“Listening to ‘Tiny dancer’? That’s not very rock n roll, is it?”

“Sheeran doesn’t have much left to be upset about – unless he gets another poor tattoo or breaks his Xbox controller?”

“Our revenge will be to break up Adele’s marriage so she comes back with a mega-album bursting with emotion and bitterness. That will outsell Ed.”

“Working title: ’30 – and p**sed off!'”

 

 

Leprechaun photograph:  https://www.flickr.com/photos/grafixer/3362432292
Ed Sheeran photograph by Eva Rinaldi from Sydney, Australia (Ed Sheeran  Uploaded by tm) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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