GOVERNMENT strategy may have some flaws, say whining environmentalists.
After the bonkers shock announcement by Tory ministers that no-one can buy petrol or diesel cars after 2040, the realisation has dawned that the country doesn’t have sufficient power, or trained mechanics, or public charging stations …
“We initially thought that domestic electricity consumption would even out,” said Peregrine Snook, from the Department of the Environment.
“When British householders plug in their 7 kilowatt electric cars that require charging for 6 hours, no-one will dare to plug in a kettle, toaster or Nutribullet at the same time for fear that their fuse-box will melt.”
“However, electricians plan to scupper us by fitting massive fuses.”
“Electricity demand is going to soar.”
“The only way we can keep a UK fleet of electric cars on the road is to burn thousands of tons of good old coal.”
“If the Japanese no longer want their own nuclear reactors for fear of meltdowns there is only so much unstable atomic energy we can sneak into the country.”
“Coal had a bad press back in the day, but I really can’t understand why.”
“Hippies like wood pellet boilers and say it’s ‘green’ to burn compressed waste wood.”
“Coal is highly compressed plant material – it’s just been lying around for a while.”
“We even plan to make our own by recycling!”
“We have persuaded Eric Pickles to roll around on top of unread copies of the ‘Tory Manifesto’.”
“Should be ready by the time we have successfully negotiated Brexit.”
Gerhard Roux <firstname.lastname@example.org> (Wikimedia Commons)
[CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons