Family believes they will be cursed for a year if decorations not down by Midnight

COSY Christmas tradition strikes again.

January 5th: panic erupts in houses throughout the land as families endeavour to strip every last vestige of Christmas from their houses.

“You have to do it today,” said local resident, Stacey Gubbins. “All the Christmas tat has to come down, be packed up and shoved back up into the freezing loft.”

“If you don’t, something terrible will happen. It’s a known fact – similar to the tradition that for each day you put a Christmas tree up before advent an elf will die.”

“Last year, a stray bauble rolled under the TV unit and we didn’t notice until March.”

“We suffered the dreaded curse all year: we never won the lottery, a no-deal Brexit is looming and the Spice Girls reformed.”

Religious Correspondent, Father Dermot O’Beery, said: “Many people do take their decorations down on Epiphany, or 12th night as it is often called called. However, this is just some Victorian con to get everyone back to work.”

“Personally, I am going to keep on celebrating like a medieval peasant right up to Candlemas on the 2nd February. Pass me the mead before you go.”

Stacey Gubbins said: “If you could excuse me I must get on – there are only a few more hours of the 5th January to go. I can feel the evil spirits lurking in the holly and ivy waiting to get me.”

“Or is 12th night the 6th January?”

Krampus picture (Modified by ‘The Daily Squabble’: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e2/Gruss_vom_Krampus.jpg

Advertisements

About The Daily Squabble

Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

View all posts by The Daily Squabble →