Fiat Panda driver discovers he’s very unlikely to breed

QUIRKY little motor not exactly attracting mates.

Gavin Rowlocks, a Fiat Panda owner, has been very disappointed by the level of female desire his vehicle arouses.

“I thought women loved cute creatures,” complained Gavin.

“How can they resist a car that resembles an endangered giant bear from behind – right down to its adorable ear-like wing mirrors?”

“They just don’t seem interested.”

“All the hot women around here seem to lust after Subaru Imprezas driven by chavs.”

“I am now also becoming somewhat of a Creationist – which probably doesn’t help my chances of mating.”

“If anyone believes in evolution – a process that theoretically maximises the number of offspring  a species produces – you only have to say one word to them to destroy their argument.”


“Maybe my car doesn’t sufficiently resemble one.”

“It might be named after a Panda’s lifestyle rather than its looks.”

“I hit a massive pothole the other day and it swerved straight into a thicket of bamboo!”  


Photo by ‘The Daily Squabble’



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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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