Index of Posts

Index The Daily Squabble

2019 Posts

0413/01/19Experts confirm: 'The Combine Harvester' song can be sung to any 'Mumford and Sons' trackRead Me
0307/01/19Even those who 'worked' over Christmas pretend it's their first day back!Read Me
0205/01/19Family believes they will be cursed for a year if decorations not down by MidnightRead Me
0101/01/19Student Union bans the sweets ‘Midget Gems’ until they are renamedRead Me

2018 Posts

3530/12/182019 Queen's Speech to come from LidlRead Me
3428/12/18Man only uses new 65" Smart 4K Ultra HD QLED TV to watch 'Dad's Army'Read Me
3304/11/18Fracking company 'Cuadrilla' confirms no connection to earth-shaking monster GodzillaRead Me
3203/11/18Doctor Who's new tardis entirely fuelled by burning copies of 'The Guardian'Read Me
3131/10/18Halloween Weather Prayers Answered: Torrential rainRead Me
3029/10/18No way to explain clocks going back to a hungry dachshundRead Me
2929/07/18Man volunteers for clinical trial to avoid watching 'Mamma Mia 2'Read Me
2827/07/18'Mission Impossible' turns out to be possible - yet againRead Me
2709/06/18H&M rename 'Size 16' as 'Positively Sylph-like'Read Me
2616/05/18Fiat Panda driver discovers he's very unlikely to breedRead Me
2514/05/18Asda allows you to pawn valuables as deposit at pay-at-the-pumpRead Me
2406/05/18IVF Dad only signed up to get licence for self-abuseRead Me
2305/05/18Donald Trump on UK crime epidemic. 'No-one uses knives in USA!'Read Me
2228/04/18TSB adverts to feature even thinner customers following banking crisisRead Me
2127/04/18Farmers return to traditional pest control methods to save beesRead Me
2020/04/18"Make Prince Edward the new manager of Arsenal," says QueenRead Me
1919/04/18Queen desperately hopes 'RikRok' will duet with Shaggy at her 92nd birthday celebrationRead Me
1817/04/18'No appointment without confessing your most intimate symptoms,' say Doctors' ReceptionistsRead Me
1715/04/18Household tips with Theresa May: How to dispose of unwanted chemicals!Read Me
1631/03/18Passport Photo GuidanceRead Me
1521/03/18Scottish Fishermen protect cod stocks by fitting them with USB sticksRead Me
1420/03/18Man panics as solar panels produce more electricity than he can useRead Me
1317/03/18Dad declares himself cursed as 'all the acts he wanted to see' dieRead Me
1214/03/18Actual Queen reassures anxious nation that she is paid a shed-load more than the Duke of EdinburghRead Me
1113/03/18Russians Accused by British Government of selling multipack crisps separatelyRead Me
1007/03/18Wife accused of employing prescription drugs to beat husband at board gamesRead Me
0903/03/18Inaccessible Mountain Property for Sale: Perfect for a TeacherRead Me
0813/02/18Phil Neville's Guide to choosing the Perfect Valentine's CardRead Me
0709/02/18Skiing - why bother when you can stay at the bottom?Read Me
0618/01/18France demands to be included on list of sh*thole countriesRead Me
0517/01/18Kim Jong-Un: "I don't need drugs to make my hair grow!"Read Me
0417/01/18NHS: Government may outsource Children's Wards to 'Toys R Us'Read Me
0315/01/18Carillion Crisis: Government reveals plans for affordable HS2Read Me
0213/01/18London's Pigeons clinically depressed at losing opportunity to crap on Donald TrumpRead Me
0102/01/18'No work possible - it's January!' confirms British IndustryRead Me

2017 Posts

12320/12/17Santa Regrets Swapping Magic Sleigh for Electric VehicleRead Me
12211/12/17Meghan Markle's Bridesmaids: Complete range of bottom sizes required.Read Me
12108/12/17Shocking discovery: MP's laptop contains credible Brexit strategyRead Me
12025/11/17Christmas Advert features Robert Mugabe hiding under little boy's bedRead Me
11915/11/17Mafia Outcompeted by Local CouncilsRead Me
11814/11/17Electric Car Driver Contracts flu - as too tight to turn on heaterRead Me
11729/10/17Do Gremlins know clocks have gone back? Owners paranoid about 'feeding after midnight'Read Me
11624/10/17Minimum Alcohol Price Plans. Welsh rush to recycling bins to calculate the bad news.Read Me
11522/10/17Inferior Car brazenly parked at end of supermarket car parkRead Me
11417/10/17'Perfect Report' by Boundary Commission wipes out Jeremy Corbyn's ConstituencyRead Me
11316/10/17Winter tyres delivered! Weather turns tropical.Read Me
11215/10/17Theresa May refuses to say if she would vote Tory in fresh pollRead Me
11111/10/17Catalonia: 'We demand our own football team!' Wales: "I wouldn't bother'Read Me
11009/10/17Gardening is completely sh*t!Read Me
10905/10/17False Widow Spiders sign exclusive contract with the Daily MailRead Me
10804/10/17Boris Johnson outed as wizard during Theresa May's disastrous speech!Read Me
10703/10/17US gun laws criticised for making people agree with Piers MorganRead Me
10602/10/17Office Millennial 'hasn't received the memo' about unpaid overtimeRead Me
10530/09/17US Diplomats in Cuba under sonic attack from weaponised form of 'Coldplay'Read Me
10422/09/17Daily Squabble's simple recipe book to compete with Nigella LawsonRead Me
10320/09/17OLIVE-AGEDDON! Man given 'all the olives' in Italian-American restaurantRead Me
10219/09/17New British snake-in-the-grass species discoveredRead Me
10118/09/17British holidaymakers traumatized by pips in Greek orange juiceRead Me
10011/09/17Horsemen confirm it's not the end of the world - yet !Read Me
9910/09/17Man hates his iPhone more than any other objectRead Me
9807/09/17Labour rebels still don't grasp being in 'Opposition'Read Me
9704/09/17Passenger Fury! Budget airline weighs travellers plus their luggageRead Me
9602/09/17McDonald's Staff on strike. Company appoints new HR DirectorRead Me
9530/08/17UK Electric Cars to be charged by new generation of coal-fired power stationsRead Me
9429/08/17BBC Launch new spin-off show: 'Strictly Come Praising'Read Me
9329/08/17Car Manufacturers: Thanks for not fitting new cars with spare wheels !Read Me
9228/08/17Brighton crowned 'International City of P*ss!'Read Me
9127/08/17Irish Monopoly Champion to take on Chess Grandmaster!Read Me
9026/08/17Boxing fans thwarted from booking pay-per-view by their non-opposable thumbsRead Me
8925/08/17Government informed that 'driverless' lorries have existed since 1804Read Me
8823/08/17Woman arrested over statue she found while snorkellingRead Me
8722/08/17Spurs: New home ground after disastrous Wembley performancesRead Me
8621/08/17Solar Eclipse USA: Thousands flock to Wyoming to 'watch' something you can't look atRead Me
8520/08/17Britain relying on hurricane Gert to 'improve the weather'Read Me
8418/08/17Obesity Crisis Solved: Government breed miniature farm animalsRead Me
8317/08/17'Little Mix' could star in 'Dunkirk 2'Read Me
8216/08/17New aircraft carrier: Mainly to be used for smuggling cheese!Read Me
8113/08/17World worried that North Koreans are the sane ones!Read Me
8013/08/17Queen writes to holidaying MPs: 'Don't bother coming back!'Read Me
7912/08/17Man's house taken over by Japanese books on minimalismRead Me
7812/08/17Perseid Meteor Shower 2017: Persistent drizzle guaranteed!Read Me
7711/08/17Welsh Tourism Awards: 'Winner of ‘Most Passive-Aggressive Holiday host' revealedRead Me
7609/08/17World Athletic Championship: Finally we get some record times!Read Me
7506/08/17BBC's 'Poldark'. "Not much sun, some sea and no scything!"Read Me
7405/08/17Euro Airports: Special security measures for all British holidaymakers after BrexitRead Me
7302/08/17Gene editing technique 'fixes' embryos who would have grown up to vote for BrexitRead Me
7201/08/17Moped Crime Wave: Metropolitan Police hire new 'staff' to spray criminalsRead Me
7131/07/17Man's prostate enlarges so much he starts to like 'The Fall'Read Me
7030/07/17'Mamma Mia 2' could be filmed in SkegnessRead Me
6910/06/27Tories forced to cooperate with MPs who have morals!Read Me
6809/06/17Brighter day - by and large - in Britain !Read Me
67b03/06/17Tories: Only party to guarantee Armageddon.Read Me
67a03/06/17Wonder Woman Defeats Global Terror Threat Before Cleaning Entire HouseRead Me
6729/05/17Postal Voters hope Election Candidates don't become even more derangedRead Me
6629/05/17Light Drizzle voted best Bank Holiday Weather - by residents of UK coastal resortsRead Me
6520/05/17NHS Chaos! GPs unable to google patients' symptoms.Read Me
6419/04/17Man frightened to suggest to work colleagues that 'Fast and Furious 8' may be the best film ever madeRead Me
63a18/04/17British Politicians: 'Officially beyond Satire!'Read Me
6304/04/17Man who charged car battery now thinks he is genius mechanic!Read Me
6203/04/17Brexit: UK to offer Spain the Isle of White in lieu of GibraltarRead Me
6119/03/17Hair-Colour-Selective Abortions should be allowed. 'What's wrong with 'gingercide'?'Read Me
6018/03/17George Osborne: Additional job cleaning Houses of ParliamentRead Me
5908/03/17Ed Sheeran Refuses to pay Leprechauns!Read Me
5807/03/17Garage tries to sell manual car!Read Me
5706/03/17Drivers who reverse into parking spaces are 'dangerous perverts'Read Me
5604/03/17Budget will Protect Thick Shoppers !Read Me
5503/03/17Ed Sheeran Can't Name His Next Album!Read Me
5402/03/17Lord Tebbit Reveals his Least Favourite Bands!Read Me
5301/03/17Church Commissions Drive-Through BaptismsRead Me
5228/02/17It's 14:00! Dads hastily retune radios to Radio 2Read Me
5128/02/17Pancake Day: Gluten Intolerance suspended!Read Me
5026/02/17'Let it Shine' Viewers, North of 'Peter Kay line', in hysterics at Honey G impressionRead Me
4925/02/17To 'Chris Martin' a vocal performance is now an Official Musical TermRead Me
4824/02/17The Oscars: Which movie is actually 'Best Picture'?Read Me
4724/02/17'Labour MPs too nice for us': say British voters.Read Me
4621/02/17Democracy doesn't work!Read Me
4518/02/17Electricity Regulator 'OFGEM': What is the Point?Read Me
4417/02/17Celestial objects: 'We're not impressed!'Read Me
4316/02/17Theresa May: Shocked to find robot manufacturing industry in Copeland!Read Me
4214/02/17'British Volvo drivers aren't all Nobs!'Read Me
4113/02/17Adele at the Grammys: Breaks fifth pie in half to share with Beyoncé:Read Me
4012/02/17Government Abolishes NHS!Read Me
3911/02/17Rugby: What is the Point?Read Me
3808/02/17Man shocked to learn that phone call from 'TalkTalk' was not a scamRead Me
3706/02/17Lady Gaga's Super Bowl Performance: Spiders criticise her writhing descent.Read Me
3605/02/17Tennessee Sewer Workers support President by 'Dressing like Women'.Read Me
3502/02/17'LinkedIn' could be renamed 'ProfessionalTosser'Read Me
3401/02/17MPs: 'Fake News' is upsetting people; that's our job!Read Me
3331/01/17Lemmings: Three-line whip imposed. All must vote for cliff-jumping!Read Me
3229/01/17Canada: 'We will take all Refugees, rejected by the U.S!' Refugees: 'Gee thanks, we'll get back to you!'Read Me
3128/01/17Harry Potter Crab? 'Why not name it 'Nevergetlaidius inamillionyearii?' suggests the Council of Science.Read Me
3028/01/17Riot at Children's Birthday Party after someone invited Auntie KuenssbergRead Me
2927/01/17Equality! British women confirmed to be just as dull as British men.Read Me
2827/01/17Trump: Staff try to explain to President that the 'Doomsday Clock' does not indicate lunchtime.Read Me
2726/01/17Trump: 'I think torture is effective. That's why I recruited Nigel Farage!'Read Me
2625/01/17Trump: 'I will build the wall'. Shares in Mexican tunnelling companies soar!Read Me
2525/01/17Donald Trump sets American calendars back to 1836. 'That's when we were great!'Read Me
2424/01/17Government shocked, after it is told to obey the law! Humiliating legal blow!Read Me
2323/01/17Trident self-destructs if targeted against any country whose name contains a 'U', a 'S' or an 'A'.Read Me
2223/01/17'Spy in the Wild': BBC harasses wildlife with robots! Animals revolt (in more ways than one).Read Me
2122/01/17Ed Sheeran: Number 1. Is he singing about a 'Magna Doodle'? Public confused.Read Me
2022/01/17Trident missile tested: Flies off in wrong direction! Submarine crew 'Not too bothered'.Read Me
1921/01/17McDonald's launches new gut-buster: British Public pay homage to all hamburgers.Read Me
1820/01/17Courgette Crisis: "We're responsible!" admit nation's cats.Read Me
1719/01/17Nicola Sturgeon threatens her family with second referendum after they vote to watch 'Let it Shine'.Read Me
1618/01/17People, who arrive on time for meetings, are Psychopaths!Read Me
1517/01/17WARNING: Your Baby's 'Sophie the Giraffe' Toy might be Full of Giraffe!Read Me
1416/01/17'Hygge' means: 'Scoffing pasties whilst wearing slipper socks' says British Public. 'Count us in!'Read Me
1314/01/17Miniature Dachshunds: The most evil of all dogs!Read Me
1212/01/17BBC Christmas Specials achieve Government depopulation quota !Read Me
1111/01/17British Public would rather be in prison' survey revealsRead Me
1010/01/17All trousers to cost minimum of £995 announces GovernmentRead Me
0909/01/17'Bear Grylls could sell range of urine based drinks at Waitrose'Read Me
0808/01/17Smart Meters become self-aware and switch off Gary Barlow's 'Let it Shine'Read Me
0708/01/17Firework buying morons are reminded it's not the 5th of NovemberRead Me
0607/01/17English A&E staff perform mannequin challenge to fool patients into leavingRead Me
0507/01/17BBC could replace Queen with Chris EvansRead Me
0407/01/17Ed Sheeran Back ! 'Is a year up so soon?' ask shocked British Public.Read Me
0306/01/17Donald Trump may receive intelligence briefing to prove the world is not flat.Read Me
0205/01/17Council finally deigns to collect some rubbish !Read Me
0104/01/17Chuckle Brothers to be Britain's new EU AmbassadorsRead Me