OUTRAGEOUS breach of parking protocol.
Gavin Rowlocks, has infuriated ostentatious motorists by parking his generic clapped-out Fiat at the far end of a car park; an area that is normally only populated by premium brands.
In his latest breach of parking protocol, he squeezed his manky old banger next to Olly Chuzzlewit’s Ferrari.
Olly Chuzzlewit said: “I didn’t travel the globe, clocking up 5 million Instagram followers, just for some nob to twang my F12 with his already suspiciously chipped car door.”
“What’s this joker playing at?”
“You have to drive a minimum of a MX-5 to park in this area and that’s got to be new.”
Mr Rowlocks said: “I must admit my car does look a bit incongruous amongst such marques.”
“However, I have to park where people treat their cars with kid gloves.”
“I can’t risk someone ramming a trolley into my car or twanging it with their door.”
“It wouldn’t lose any more of its value – that’s impossible.”
“There’s a real and present danger that my car will fall apart from any minor impact.”
“I am also hoping that some of the surrounding glamour might literally rub off.”
“A smudge of Ferrari paint or a scrape from a BMW’s bumper would massively improve my car’s resale value.”
Photograph by ‘ The Daily Squabble’