Kim Jong-Un: “I don’t need drugs to make my hair grow!” Proudly bouffant as usual!

‘ROCKET-MAN’ Kim Jong-Un has boasted that he has much better hair than a certain ‘mentally deranged dotard’.

“It’s not orange either,” said North Korean diplomat, Gun-Woo Samsung. “Not even his pubes.”

“To be honest, I am surprised that Kim has so much hair left given his habit of posing in front of inter-continental nuclear missiles.”

“I am also proud to announce our Supreme Commander aced an international ‘cognitive ability test’.”

“He was able to correctly identify a lion, rhinoceros and a camel.”

“Animals that haven’t been seen in North Korea for a generation since starving peasants broke into Pyongyang zoo and ate them.”

“However, Kim Jong-Un did comment that there was little point to this section of the test.”

“They will all look the same after they are nuked.”


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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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