‘Little Mix’ could star in ‘Dunkirk 2’ By Media Correspondent, Dudley Petard.

Little Mix in Dunkirk 2

HOLLYWOOD Executives plan thrilling sequel: ‘Dunkirk 2 – Stuck on the beach again!’

“Little Mix could well be asked to appear in ‘Dunkirk 2′”, alleged Dudley Petard, Media Correspondent for ‘The Daily Squabble’.

“Harry Styles performed adequately in the current movie opening the floodgates for teen stars to appear in further gritty war movies.”

“If I were the producer of ‘Dunkirk 2’, I would split ‘Little Mix’ up to play completely different roles. Jesy could serve the soldiers jam sandwiches on a destroyer whereas Jade could fly a spitfire in Tom Hardy’s ill-fated squadron”.

“Hopefully, Tom will pay a bit more attention to his fuel gauge this time so he doesn’t have to torch a perfectly good plane on the beach.”

“I hope they took that out of his wages!”

“Incidentally, wasn’t it great how Tom had to manually wind down the landing gear on his plane before he landed?”

“I hope Ryanair don’t watch this or people in the cheap seats will probably be made to do this before their plane lands in Majorca.”

“Perrie and Leigh-Anne Pinnock can be in charge of a dilapidated trawler ploughing across the English channel to rescue our desperate troops.”

“Isn’t ‘Pinnock’ some sort of fish? Or is that ‘pollock’?”

An employee of Warner Bros. said: “There are absolutely no plans for this.”

“Ed Sheeran is going to pilot a spitfire while strumming Irish ditties on his ukulele and eating a jam sandwich.”

“Adele is going to skipper the fishing boat but she is going to have to tone down her language.”

“Trawler-men aren’t used to so much effing and blinding!”

 

Photograph of Dunkirk boat:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a3/Dunkirk_1940_HU2280.jpg
Little Mix photograph:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/vagueonthehow/25876807894
Both modified by ‘The Daily Squabble’

 

 

 

 

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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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