London’s Pigeons clinically depressed at losing opportunity to crap on Donald Trump

BIRD PSYCHOLOGISTS called in to counsel ailing avians.

Dr. Sally Doolally, from the League of Psychologists, has been commissioned to coax life back into the capital’s flying critters.

“It’s just not fair,” said Dr. Doolally. “President Trump refused to open the new U.S. Embassy in South London as he was sulking about property prices.”

“None of the pigeons could have predicted that.”

“I don’t think the President ever intended to visit South London – there are plenty of other sh*tholes higher on his wishlist.”

“Some of my pigeon patients haven’t gone to the toilet for months. They have been stoking themselves up, desperately waiting to take a dump on Trump’s orange aircraft carrier hair.”

“All the pigeons in Vauxhall deliberately made themselves constipated by eating nothing but couscous marketed by a certain celebrity chef.”

“They are all well and truly Ainsley-retentive.”

“Anyway, I am sure they will soon cheer up.”

“There’s always Katie Hopkins.”

 

Photo by ‘The Daily Squabble’

 

 

 

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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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