‘Mission Impossible’ turns out to be possible – yet again

FILM PRODUCERS admit to needing new dictionary.

Gavin Rowlocks, cinema fan, was refused his money back by Cineworld when the 6th ‘Mission Impossible’ film – ‘Fallout’ – turned out to have an entirely possible mission.

“I think this should be illegal under the trade descriptions act,” complained Mr Rowlocks.

“I wanted to see Tom Cruise’s mission crash and burn but he completed it yet again – with a whole second to spare.”

“His 100% success rate at impossible missions is getting a bit predictable.”

“If he can keep such a great head of hair at his age – there is nothing he cannot achieve.”

“All the other major characters survived to churn out yet more sequels – apart from Alec Baldwin who doesn’t really count.”

“Why don’t they give them an actual impossible mission for a change?”

“How about trying to buy some reasonably priced cinema popcorn or work out how to get a Meerkat movie discount code?”

“I had to smuggle in some Asda popcorn again – stuffed inside the front of my trousers.”

“That’s the problem with a heatwave.”

“No jacket pockets and having to go commando.”

“When I unzipped my trousers to retrieve my illegal popcorn – I accidentally exposed my todger to the whole cinema.”

“I don’t know what they all complained about.”

“The movie is called ‘Fallout’.”


Photo by:

Georges Biard [CC BY-SA 3.0  (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], from Wikimedia Commons


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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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