Office Millennial ‘hasn’t received the memo’ about unpaid overtime Laughing all the way to pilates!

Millennial Daily Squabble

MILLENNIAL office worker leaves work on time and brazenly has a life.

Tiffany Gubbins, a graduate accountant, has shocked her ageing colleagues by leaving the office exactly on time, every f*cking day!

Gavin Rowlocks, office manager, said: “She starts to tidy her desk at 3:50 pm. By 3:57 she is driving towards the gate of the car-park in her pastel Fiat 500, passing through the exit exactly as the clock strikes 4.”

“Sometimes she asks me, before she leaves, what I am planning to do that evening.”

“It seems cruel to tell her the truth – that I am working for another 3 hours and wishing that I were dead.”

“I did once and she laughed hysterically, said I was ‘so funny’, and asked if I wanted to accompany her to yoga followed by a pub quiz.”

“I once tried to discuss that when a contract says you have to work 37 hours, that’s more of a minimum rather than an absolute maximum.”

“When I looked up, she had left for lunch as it was 12:00 and she had run out of avocados.”

“Tiffany has given up asking me on Friday what I am planning to do at the weekend.”

“My answer is always ‘nothing, apart from collapse in an exhausted heap trying to recover enough for Monday’.”

“She is probably going to Glastonbury, attending a beer festival, enjoying a short European city break, followed by a ‘Tough Mudder’.”

“It’s hard to relate to someone so lively when my sole remaining ambition is to die in service.”

Tiffany Gubbins said: “My colleagues do work at least 60 hours but at least half of that is spent fantasising about retiring, bitching about management, researching company cars and discussing how they will spend their gold-plated pensions.”

“What’s a pension?”

“Is that some fantasy object from ‘Game of Thrones’?”

 

Photographs:
Exhausted man at work: LaurMG. (Own work.) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons
Woman with drink:
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=220992&picture=woman-holding-a-drink
Both modified by ‘The Daily Squabble’

 

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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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