Pancake Day: Gluten Intolerance suspended! Fitness freaks suspend all fad diets to indulge in pancake orgy

Pancakes
Blueberry pancakes – one of your five a day!

GLUTEN and dairy suddenly good for you – for twenty-four hours!

Anna Phylaxis, Nutrition Consultant, said, “It’s a well-known, and highly convenient fact, that you have to expose yourself to allergens from time to time – to build up resistance.”

“When it comes to gluten, allergen-exposure time always coincides with Pancake Tuesday. Sometimes, it also coincides with birthday cake – anybody’s birthday – or Christmas pudding.”

“All the diets I prescribe are always 80:20.”

“So, in a normal 24-hour day, I could legitimately spend 4.8 hours eating pancakes!”

Tigernuts Fartlek, Fitness Consultant, said, “I am trying to convince myself that wheat is a vegetable. How much harm can ten pancakes in one day do to my gluten-deprived system?”

“Of course, I could use gluten-free buckwheat flour. But I am not a complete weirdo.”

“I am prepared to suffer leaky gut and ferocious wind for the whole of Lent in order to conform to the religious stipulation to use up all tasty ingredients before Ash Wednesday.”

“The fact that I had to jog down to the supermarket to stock up on wheat flour, milk and syrup – as I never normally let them into the house – is irrelevant.”

I arm curled the flour and milk all the way back to the house.”

“I am helping supermarkets prepare for Lent. It’s a massive problem for them. They have whole shelves groaning with tasty pancake ingredients.”

“We all have to do our bit!”

Anna Phylaxis said, “When it comes to pancakes: What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”

“Has anyone seen my antihistamines?”

 

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Photo by jeffreyw (mmm… pancakes  Uploaded by Fæ) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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