QUEEN sleepless with anticipation waiting for her live music extravaganza.
Palace Spokesman, Peregrine Snook, said: “The Queen has long been an admirer of Shaggy.”
“He’s even better when twinned with Ricardo “RikRok” Ducent on ‘It wasn’t me’.”
“The Duke of Edinburgh loves that one too!”
“Her Majesty will be positively twitching to Shaggy’s greatest hits which include ‘Oh Carolina’, ‘Bombastic’ and ‘Go F*ck yourself’.”
“Not many 92-year-olds get to have such a hot ticket for their birthday.”
“Between her front-row fashion cred and now this, it’s official: the Queen is getting cooler every year.”
A BBC producer said: “This wasn’t meant to happen.”
“She was meant to hate it.”
“The reason that we beheaded Charles I and annually subject the Royals to vulgar ‘Royal Variety Performances’ is to torture and torment them. We like to slap them down into their place and remind them that we, the commoners, are in charge.”
“We are confident the rest of the bill will make her crack.”
“Only a saint could smile their way through Shawn Mendes, Craig David and Ladysmith Black Mambazo.
“What’s Anne-Marie doing on the list?”
“I like her. Surely some mistake?”
“Surely her Majesty can’t really like the hits of Tom Jones?”
The Queen said, “Will he sing ‘Sex Bomb?”