Queen writes to holidaying MPs: ‘Don’t bother coming back!’

The Queen
‘You tell ’em Ma’am!’

NATION much happier now that Members of Parliament are absent.

Her Majesty the Queen has taken the unprecedented step of writing to all MPs, currently enjoying their tax-payer-funded 6-week summer recess, to instruct them to never come back to Parliament

A Palace Spokesperson, said: “We know this is slightly unconstitutional, but her Majesty cares deeply about the happiness of the nation.”

“The realisation dawned on her that ‘less is more’ when she saw the joy on the faces of organisers when they confirmed that Prince Philip had not accompanied her to their official event.”

“When you think about it, there’s nothing left for politicians to do. We have more than enough laws already and MPs have irreparably messed up our economy and European relations.”

“The mood has definitely lifted over the last few weeks since the last parliamentary session ended.”

“The news is no longer full of bitterness, infighting, back-biting and Brexit.”

“We have all been left in peace to enjoy the world athletics and Chelsea getting thrashed.”

“Long may this continue.”


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Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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