PRIME MINISTER refuses to answer hypothetical questions – unless the answer can be ‘Dr Liam Fox’.
Theresa May has allegedly refused to say if she would vote Tory in another snap election, saying that she would ‘have to weigh up the evidence’ before deciding what to do ‘in the current situation’.
“That’s basically a ‘no’ then,” said Mandy Toxic-Fig, prospective Labour candidate for Grimtown, a Northern post-apocalyptic industrial wasteland.
“If anyone weighs up the Tories inability to negotiate themselves out of a paper-bag, our Jeremy is in for a landslide.”
“The only hypothetical questions that Mrs May is always game for are: ‘Who would you like to keep you company on a desert island?’; ‘Who would you like to be stuck in a lift with?’; and ‘Who would you like to Netflix and chill with?'”
“Her answer is always ‘Dr Liam Fox.”
She says that this would be ‘very practical’ – due to her bad cough and all the knives in her back.”
“When Labour have got the Tories by the b*lls in the next election, maybe Dr Fox can cough for me?”
“I think that is a valid diagnostic technique – as well as being tremendously satisfying!”