Welsh Tourism Awards: ‘Winner of ‘Most Passive-Aggressive Holiday host’ revealed

No parking no turning

GLITTERING prize giving ceremony at National Eisteddfod.

Cefin ap Guto from Llantwit Major has won the coveted crown at this year’s National Eisteddfod for demonstrating stalwart disdain towards holidaymakers visiting his dilapidated caravan park.

Born and bred in Birmingham, Cefin changed his name from Kevin when he fell in love with the Welsh language, heritage and culture.

“I specialise in tormenting my hapless guests,” said Cefin proudly. “I do this through my comprehensive selection of special signs.”

“I find that if you’re really polite, you can ban tourists from exercising many of their basic human rights.”

“I have signs saying ‘NO Ball Games, NO Loitering, DON’T even think of walking on the grass – if you don’t mind’ and ‘NO dogs, NO music, NO barbecues, hope you enjoy your stay’.”

“I recently erected ‘NO bonking, NO drinking, NO Gambling, come back soon’.”

“What I really want to put up is ‘Why don’t you f**k off home? Thanks for visiting’ but, unfortunately, I am addicted to their money.”

Cefin’s main interests – other than abusing tourists – are love-spoons, choirs, harps and Manchester United.

 

Photograph by ‘The Daily Squabble’
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About The Daily Squabble

Satirical comedy newspaper edited by 'Mallet' Mike. Documenting the lives and opinions of the fictional villagers of Much Craplock.

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